About Me

"Sometimes, when i close my eyes, i cant see.."

Monday, 14 November 2011

Six Tips For The Kewl Community:

Utterly repulsive as you are, I regretfully state that you nonetheless occupy a chunk of our society where your unfortunate existence thrives alongside us normal, sane earthlings. I shall, henceforth, insinuate six tips that just might make you a lot less loathsome.

l. `l`yypyynG lYKe tHii$ will not, I repeat NOT, impress any kEwwL gUurrLL. It will, however, get you a virtual kick in the balls it you ever ask make a move on her on facebook. We do not need a constant reminder of how impossibly illiterate you are, so kindly cut on that. You may be quite competent in using your keyboard as a bagful of scrabble alphabets, but trust me when i say that it won’t make you appear as any less of a loon.

2. Wearing your patloon three inches below your waistline, such that the perverted effort of making your underwear visible is almost always painfully obvious. It does not make you a gangsta, it makes you appear as merely gay. Pay heed to this little piece of revelation, bro.

3. Riding your bike with the silencer thrown away to produce that ungodly roar, will not get you your "bachi". (..the terms people come up with these days..unbelievable.)  It will just shed light on the fact that you are a pathetic citizen. Ever heard of noise pollution? Or, if not, does the term mentally ill sound familiar? lt should..

4. Staring, or dare I use that despicable term "poondi", will not get you anywhere. In fact, the only thing it will accomplish is getting that poor victim at whom you’re poondi-fying, in deep shit. You see, the bonga looking guy next to that lady might be a black belt who just MIGHT gang up on you and beat you into a bloody pulp the first chance he gets. Or worse still, he might turn out to be her ten-year-old brother who tells on her the second they step into their humble abode. You wouldn’t want your future bachi's cell phone confiscated, now would you? How will you then send her those contemptuous miss calls, you low life cheapass?

5. Screw you, when she says she doesn’t want to frandship with you, she MEANS it. WHY on earth must you be a rejection-loving masochist? This incomprehensible nature of yours is exactly what makes you a retard of the creepiest variety.

6. There exists a feminine community which would do anything to be a guy. So when you purposefully insult your Y chromosomes by making hearts every freaking where, it makes people gag. If you’re under the delusion that it makes you look 'kewoot', please come out of it before someone drags you to the operation theater for a sex-change operation.
 keep this insanity up, and one day Insha'Allah, you will reach the of kewlness of Awais Lovely :')


  1. I have no idea what I just read. :D But I'm gonna say. AWESOME. And nod like i knew what you were telling. :D

  2. LOL see i read this AMAZING piece by zoha riaz, she was venting off her frustration at the words "bachi" and "poondi"! hahah it kind of really grabbed me, so :D

  3. Even tho each point outta the six made me laugh, the 6th one made me comment: Only if you came into existence before Cecily von Ziegesar did, Gossip Girls would have been in a better shape! xx

    p.p.s i love Gossip dirls.

  4. LOL! Awais lovely is the bawss! :D

  5. i know right, pakistan ke shaan, awais lovely.:|

  6. This is awesomeness!
    I liked the "paloon" thing. Thats so gay.

  7. First of all, a round of applause for your first blog post ever. *applause*

    Secondly....dare I say it?...I'm going to say it..... k3wL sTuFf m@yNn! !!! 11!!


    Keep posting, please! :)