The Rant Against The Burger Community.

"I'm so sorry, I cannot have Gol Gappay. I'm a total burger, you see."

(-This mentally challenged moron I met once.)

"Don't mess with the Burger Death Squad."

(-BurgerTips, Facebook. Also, WTF?)

"Argh, I'm so in love with him, pakka burger hai woh."

(-A damsel in distress, over this despicable dude.)

...*Takes a deep breath*.

Okay. Okay. 

WHAT in the love of GOD is going ON in here? What the hell is wrong with the world in general and our doomed, ill-fated, done-for society in particular?! HAVE YOU PEOPLE COMPLETELY LOST IT?!

Fine. Everyone is totally at liberty to do whatever they may so desire. But DENYING GOLGAPPAY? Are you freaking kidding me? And for what, exactly? for the sake of being called a burger? This, lads and ladies, is a blatant, screaming proof that the world has indeed gone mad. The sanity of this hapless planet has plunged into a tenebrous abyss; with no chances of returning whatsoever.

Now, allow me to enlighten you about why I believe you're in some serious need of therapy if you like/consider yourself/want to be considered as...a burger.

How exactly do you delineate a burger anyway? See, according to Dictionary.com, a burger is

noun

1.a sandwich consisting of a cooked patty of ground orchopped beef, usually in a roll or bun, variously garnished.

2.ground or chopped beef.

3.Also called Hamburg steak . a patty of ground or choppedbeef, seasoned and fried or broiled.

....yeah.

Correct me if I'm wrong, YOUR definition of a burger is a person who is rich as hell, dresses well, lives a classy, lavish life, smokes, drinks (this trait depends on whether you find it cool or not. I, for one, do not.), and has a sexy demeanor. 

Right?

But, erm, I really don’t think classy people forget their roots. Neither do they seek or need flimsy excuses to chastise others in a pathetic attempt to raise their own self-esteems. If you ask me, what you need is to ponder upon and treat your raging inferiority complex. Condemning people who just don’t speak as eloquently as you- No, wait.  Slurring your words at the 'r' does not make you sound American. Nor will going to London and returning after barely two months give you the possession of an explicit British accent. Are we clear on that? Sure, accents are hot. But faking one will further pronounce the fact that you're nothing but a loser with highlights of a moronic wannabe.There's a huge difference between eloquence and fake accents, almost the size of your butt.

Speaking of butts, what exactly goes on in your mind when you brandish your assets so blatantly in hopes of making heads turn? 

Not sermonizing or anything, but recent antics of a certain Veena Malik (*snicker*) should induce SOME caution in you. Walking into Karachi International Airport's Domestic Arrival's area, clad in a tank top and denim shorts...Seriously? And then you whine about helpless pathans staring at you? Have you, perchance, noticed that it’s solely YOU providing them of such a remarkable view? Lecherous looks must make you feel wanted, I suppose…

I'm not even going to end this post by adding a "This post is satirical in nature. No offence meant. Just kidding." as a foot-note. Hell no, I am not kidding. The likes of you are precisely the reason why this society is so much at fault. If you consider the people you live in the vicinity of as below your 'level', you're sick. 

Burgers are over-rated anyway; Bunkababs. Burns Road. Enough said.